


I Can't Live Within You

by UniquelyQueer_67



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Execution, Feels, Fire, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Protective Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19753627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniquelyQueer_67/pseuds/UniquelyQueer_67
Summary: Arthur is a good king. So when he finds out his servant is a sorcerer, he is taken to be burned.





	I Can't Live Within You

Arthur didn't look at his servant as the charges were read. Nor did he visit Merlin when he slept in the dungeons that night. And he flatly refused to meet the man's teary blue eyes as he was tied to that damn pyre.

He didn't see when they lit the flame.

He didn't see.

He heard.

An agonising wail, a sound of pain. The kind of all-encompassing pain that comes with betrayal and heartbreak and burning to death. He heard it from the lips of his manservant, his best friend, his most trusted advisor; then it hit him.

Somewhere deep inside himself, a voice, a terrible voice that had always been quiet, always waiting, always _wanting_. And Arthur's eyes opened and he saw; he saw a future without Merlin. Years and years of drawn-out pain, his very soul withering and wilting away until even his body was overcome by it - a living death - a grief so strong even the thought of it sent his feet streaking along the cobbles. He launched himself into the flames, longing for death and longing for the man who still screamed and cried.

His feet burned with it, they literally burned. Arthur cut Merlin loose, his boots nearly melted, and carried the sorcerer away. But the king's knees buckled from under him, and he sat on those cobbles, clutching Merlin like a lifeline. Clutching him in the hopes they would melt into one another, and never again be parted.

Arthur distantly heard his knights approach, grabbing at Merlin. Arthur drew him in closer and screamed. It sounded like desperation, and rage, and the primal urge to protect that which you hold dear. Merlin's hand curled into a fist at Arthur's back, clutching his cape and sobbing into his shoulder, moving closer into Arthur's embrace. The knights stopped in their tracks and looked upon the two in shock and awe.

"I am your king! And I order you to _stand down!_ _"_ And they did, for fear of their king - and Guinevere too, as she feared _for_ her husband. She gazed at them and Merlin nuzzled into Arthur's neck, hissing in pain at the blisters on his feet. Arthur gently soothed him; with a hand in his hair, and gentle whispers.

"Everything is going to be alright, Merlin."

"I only use it for you, Arthur. Only ever for you..." Merlin muttered, Arthur gently shushed him.

"I know." he whispered, pulling away just enough to look into Merlin's eyes. His iris swam with manic blue strands - all interconnecting and weaving and vibrating with magic - surrounded by a mass of off-white, interrupted by branches of red from his tears, "I can't survive without you." And he kissed Merlin, to prove a point, to feel the softness of him there. To forget about everything, their lips danced together. In front of his knights, his people, his father's spirit, and his wife.

It was Gwen who helped the king bring Merlin to Gaius' chambers, Gwen who fetched cloth and blankets and fresh water while Arthur rested Merlin's head in his lap. Their fingers intertwined, and eyes locked; their gazes connected as if by a spider web. A thread of iron.

And it is Gwen who ushered Gaius from his own rooms to give the king and his sorcerer the privacy to explore each others' bodies, minds and souls.

And it was sweet, and it was tender, and - unlike the comfort of his marriage with Gwen - the passion burned within Arthur. Deep within him.

With the same terrifying, dangerous roar, as the flames of the pyre.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a way to procrastinate writing Heart of Dragons aaaaaaaahhhh. I haven't updated in almost two weeks but i was out of the country please let me live!!!  
> title from the David Bowie song, within you


End file.
